Better than Yesterday

Still not ready to take down yesterday's post but...things are a little better today. My back feels a little better and mother was more reasonable. We went for a drive up to the "mountain" and saw the beautiful green leaves. Also stopped by the river for a brief respite.

Kind of glad I haven't had the Internet for a while. Negative news really brings me down. Weird about that earthquake today, though.

Gino Vannelli & Metropole @ The Hague Jazz 2011

Don't Give Up On Me!!!!!

Pain and Preparations

I have been checking into all kinds of services in Harrisburg. So far, I can't find a cheap place to get my INR blood tests done. People don't want to touch you if you don't have insurance. Even the Hamilton clinic has foisted me onto somebody else and they have not called back yet, with information. And now, I find I have to have another doctor's prescription in order to get the INR. How am I going to get that in one day from a community health clinic in Reno? Have figured out the bus park-and-ride schedule, found a yoga place with a teacher who understands back issues and have looked into a community acupuncture place.

I wish my back would get better, though. The pain can be so exhausting. I have cut back on the meds to 2 Vicadin and 2 1/2 Extra Strength Tylenol a day, but today I needed more. Am I going to be living in pain for the rest of my life? I am doing some stretches and strengthening exercises but I feel my progress is very slow. I walked for 10 blocks this morning but am now reclining on my bed, resting. Plus, I did a load of laundry and walked up and down stairs. I am doing better this week at not worrying, but I am frustrated, for sure. Tomorrow will be my last chiropractic appointment for a while. I have good days and bad days. Praying that the good outweigh the bad, very, very soon.

I am almost all packed. 1 suitcase and 1 duffle bag My 2 boxes arrived at mother's the other day. Somehow I will get these suitcases into a cab and to the check-in gate at the airport on Wednesday. Then, I'm doubling my medication for the flight. And, I may ask for special transport so I make my connecting flight on time.

I hope my new boss, Glenn, will be patient with me as I learn my new job and I pray that my mother and I can begin a new, positive relationship.

Bobby McFerrin - Don't worry Be happy

Relax, Don't Worry...

Seems that worry is one of the biggest traits I inherited from my upbringing. I know it is bad for me. I know it does no good. Still, I worry. Breathe in, breathe out, do EFT tapping exercises, say positive affirmations like "all my needs are taken care of, I am safe, everything is moving in the right direction" etc. Sometimes it helps. Well, the more I practice it, the more it helps. But some days, like today, when I have too much time on my hands and my back still hurts, the old circles of anxiety begin.

No expectations - I can't control the outcome - everything will turn out just fine. Focus on love. Focus on peace. Focus on positive thoughts. Take a little blue pill. Much as I hate to admit it, the anti-anxiety medication does work.

There are a lot of changes coming up and I haven't seen my mother in 15 years - now I'll be living with her for a while.... And she is a master worrier. How can I keep my balance and not get caught up in the downward spiral of her (and my own) anxiety?

Practice, Practice, Trust....

Hula Hoop Girl

As my back continues to heal, I've been taking nightly 6 to 10 block walks down the street. There's one house, rather unusually built with what look like river rocks. A big white pit bull barks and wags his tail from behind the chain link fence. Recently, as I've slowly strolled by, there's been a young woman outside gyrating with a white-striped hula-hoop. As I'm somewhat mobility-impaired, at the moment, I find I am rather envious of her fluid movements. I'd like to stand and watch for a while but her dog keeps barking until I pass by. Since this is Reno, I can't help but wonder if this bleach blond tube-top clad lass is practicing for her act at the strip club. Maybe she works at Circus-Circus, though, and entertains the kids....

Or maybe I'm just being waaaaaaayyyy too judgmental and she has just found a fun way to exercise? Really - it does look like fun.

Good Things About Pennsylvania

Trying to remember the things I liked about living in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania:

Fall Colors - trees are amazing
The Walnut Street Bridge to City Island
Rolling Hills
The train to Philadelphia
Shoe-Fly Pie (wheat. darn.)
Chocolate Easter Eggs filled with peanut butter or coconut
Old houses from the civil-war era
Hershey's annual antique auto show - hear they now have a museum
Hotel Hershey
Front Street and walking along the river
I have musician friends who live there
Main street of Mechanicsburg is pretty
Union Street in Middletown - wonder if Kuppy's Diner is still in business?
Amish country
Lancaster is pretty
Funk and Soul music - hope somebody still plays it on the radio!
Free orchestra concerts occasionally
The ceiling of The Forum
Other towns and cities are close by

These are things I remember. Don't know how much the place has changed. Visited briefly in 2002, before my Aunt Esther passed away. Saw her and my aunt Nippy for the last time - Nippy died the following June.

I hope I fit in. Always dreamed of returning home "triumphantly". Well, a young girl's fantasy, I suppose. Going back home and hopefully starting a new life.

Simple Life

Lots of naps and 2 short walks a day. That is my main routine , as I heal from my "pulmonary embolism" and my back issues. So lucky that I'm living right across the street from a great chiropractor, "Dr. Mitch". He's been helping my L5 lumbar get back into position so it stops pinching my sciatic nerve.

I'm having issues dealing with the fact that I'm taking Vicadin and a blood thinner, as well as Tylenol. Trying to find the right combination so my blood hits the correct viscosity and I'm not damaging my liver with the acetaminophen and narcotics. Went from being totally drug-free, a few months ago to this. Trying to find the right mindset to deal positively with this as I heal. I do need the medicine to take away the pain, right now. But every day I am improving. I feel it.

Today, I got 2 boxes packed to ship to Pennsylvania. Yesterday, I got another bill taken care of (meaning erased!!!!!) from my hospitalization. Little by little things are falling into place.

I once again must thank Michelle and Steve for their kindness, patience and generosity with me over these several months. I know I have not been the easiest house guest. Now the Universe has opened up my next opportunity and I must take it. Flying out of Reno August 17th.