Tuesday, December 15, 2020

End of 2020 Update

 As I sit in my kitchen, gazing out on the urban street below, I think about the past year. 31 radiation treatment and one out-patient operation for 2 different cancers in 2 different organs, a time of hopelessness and a renewed hope. The Covid-19 pandemic has given my introverted tendencies justification. I don't have to feel guilty for not getting 'out and about'. it is OK to be a voyeur and ponder the fashion choices of my neighbors. "Hey! Grunge fashion is back!" or "The Pittsburgh Steelers supply the most popular outerwear colors in this part of the state".

Purrcival, the kitty I got at the start of the year, has grown into an affectionate and playful companion. He demonstrates high intelligence and keen hunting skills during our playtime. Quick to catch flicked earplugs with sneak attacks from behind me, and alarmingly fast with his aerial acrobatics when stalking the 'Cat Dancer' toy. I always felt guilty that I couldn't give my dog, Baxter, the exercise he needed. He's now rambunctiously playing with his new brother and father every day. I miss him, but my heart is now full with the love of a small, black cat.


I am walking again. I'm not speedy and my endurance isn't what it used to be, but when I can, I give it my best shot. Sometimes once a week, and some weeks I am out there four times. Some days feel good and some days are a chore. I have been laughed at for wearing a face mask when I pass other people. This town has a lot of liberals and an equal amount of idiots. My term for conservative conspiracy theorists. I can't wait until Trump is gone, but I fear his followers will never feign sanity. 

I remember helping to produce Coast to Coast. The show was lousy with conspiracy theorists, and we had guests who warned against upcoming health pandemics, and told people to treat them as hoaxes. While I never booked any of these guests, I can't help but feel partly responsible for the attitudes of denial today. We caused a lot of it. The show had 16 million listeners, after all. Mea Culpa! Mea Culpa!

Even though this year has been incredibly difficult for me, last year, with all of the upheavals was much, much worse. I've been stable in 'Peopletown'. My disability income is barely enough to pay my bills but I have had a little luck and there has been just enough this year. The pandemic food stamp bump has helped tremendously. I wish the greedy wealth-loving government would approve another round of stimulus cash. Many people have it a lot worse than I do. My sisters are surviving, too. We have been mostly lucky, during this time. None of us has had Covid-19. Yet. And hopefully never. We're all staying as safe as we can. 

Just 16 more days until the end of the year. 21 more days until my 60th birthday and 36 more days until that insane megalomaniac leaves the White House. Here's to brighter days. Love to you all.