Why Do I Even Bother?

Grrrrrrr.

I'm so mad and sick to death of the antiquated attitudes in this backwards town.

Last year, a new, hipper and edgier weekly newspaper came on the scene. It reminded me just the tiniest bit of Seattle's "The Stranger" weekly. It had an attitude and a liberal take on life. But recently, they started a new ad campaign that featured scantily clad women. I felt strongly that they were shooting themselves in the foot with this new direction and decided to send them a letter. I also commented about psycho columnist Ann Coulter's stance on Supreme Court Justice nominee Harriet Meiers. Coulter agrees that the woman is unqualified and doesn't think her sex should matter. Here's my letter:

Offended reader of the week...(their title)
Dear Editors,

As a recent graduate of UNCG’s women’s and gender studies program, I feel it is my duty to point out sexism (and sexual evolution) when it is encountered.

I’ll begin with One Step Forward. For the first time in my life, I agree with a column written by Ann Coulter! Her stance on Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers is a giant leap for feminism. When conservatives can judge a woman on her merit and not solely on her sex, then it appears women have rounded the corner to achieve full-fledged personhood, instead of just tokenism. All Americans, liberals and conservatives alike, want the best person for the job, not just the President’s friend with a vagina.

Unfortunately, in this same issue, YES! Weekly has taken 2 steps back. This retrograde movement involves the way you are currently trying to position yourselves in the Greensboro marketplace. When you came on the scene, I was thrilled! Finally, a weekly that addressed the local political and cultural scene with humor and intelligence. I have been a loyal reader ever since.

As you may have guessed, I am a female reader. I can’t help but wonder if YES! Weekly is trying to abandon its educated and female audience by using marketing tactics usually reserved for male-oriented ‘crotch-rock’ radio stations. By this, I mean your out-and-out sexist attempt to position yourself as having “cool and hot” readers with your “YES! girl” models. I have nothing against beautiful women. I consider myself among them. However, what I do resent is using women (and notice I don’t refer to grown women as “girls” — a direct attempt to make these young women powerless and childlike) as window-dressing to promote a product. Especially when that product is aimed at the intellect, instead of the libido. Your marketing staff is taking the cheap and easy way out. Come on! Use some creativity!

I applaud you for using both women and men of all ages as your “Local Talent” models. But I believe you must reconsider your positioning as Greensboro’s “best read” (whatever that means) weekly. If you alienate your female readers, you are only hurting yourselves. Who’d have thought Ann Coulter would be more progressive than YES! Weekly?

Sincerely,

Ansapo

And, here's how they responded:

editor replies: We’ve never before heard of someone with a women’s studies degree being offended, but we must stand by our proclamations concerning the hotness (and coolness) of our readers. And we are assuming that you don’t like this week’s cover. Call it a hunch.

BASTARD MOTHERFUCKERS. They just don't get it. I wrote a well reasoned letter that included positives AND negatives. I complimented them in many ways. But NOOOO!!! These misogynist motherfuckers took the easy way out. I'm sure I'm not the only woman offended by their sexist tone. I hope they show up in bankruptcy court soon.

Bottle Brunette

Since I've been a student I haven't had the money to get my hair colored or highlighted. So, I've resorted to using over-the-counter hair colors (or hair colours as they say in Canada).

I guess I'm not alone. Walgreen's, up the road from me, carries an entire aisle FILLED with the manes and faces of sultry blondes, seductive brunettes and saucy redheads staring out from enticing boxes with the brand names Garnier, Miss Clairol, Preference, Excellence and Ferria, to name a few. Some of the boxes even have young men on them, looking more frisky and playful than sexy.

I have been a blonde, or "strawberry blonde" my entire life. Once I got closer to graduation from college, however, I wanted to become a brunette. Maybe I wanted my hair color to reflect my intellect. I wanted to tell the world to take me seriously. Funny, since I'm such a raging feminist. I should be the last person to believe that my hair color defines who I am. But maybe I just wanted a change. Besides, brown hair seems to highlight my fair complexion and blue eyes better.

I've gotten a little bolder with the color, too. Once, my hair turned the color of a watery hot chocolate and another time, I was furious to find brassy red highlights instead of the soft auburn that the box promised.

Wonder what shade this iced-mocha will be when I rinse it out of my hair. I'll let you know. The timer just went off! Better jump in the shower!

My Head Has Left the Building

Actually, my head has left The South! Even better. I'm applying to graduate school at the University of Washington and am planning on moving back home to Seattle in mid-December!

I finally had a vision of my future and am putting things into place to make that happen. Luckily, The Universe is cooperating! Funny how that is. When I finally got to North Carolina, everything fell into place. While getting my education in this state wasn't my first choice - I had planned on Ohio but after a year I needed to leave - once I got here, I quickly got a job and an apartment and met some cool people and found out how cheap North Carolinia schools are for state residents. It seems I was SUPPOSED to go to my school. I even found a wonderful apartment in a building I had driven by and said "It'd be so cool to live there!" And, there wasn't even a For Rent sign outside. Just fate and luck.

I'm crossing my fingers for more of that fate and luck as I travel back Northwest to study Ethnomusicology. It is the one disipline in the world that seems made for the unique way I process life. I had never heard about it until I got to this North Carolina school. And, what are the chances that I would find out about it from a guy who got his PhD from the University of Washington? And I wouldn't have taken his class had I not overheard a conversation in my "Masterpieces of Cinema" class. I would never have taken "Masterpieces of Cinema", from this particular teacher, had I not sat next to Lea in my French 101 class. And, I wouldn't have taken that 11:00 AM French 101 class had I been able to get up just a little earlier in the morning...

I think it is FATE.

So, I keep thinking how I'll get to the University from my sister's place. Will I park and ride the bus? Will I ride a bike? How many coffee places will I pass on my way to class? Ooooh. Cool and cloudy weather. Air I can breathe. So enticing after spending this sweltering summer in the South. I think about all of the wonderful movies that play in Seattle that never reach this backwater burg. Art and liberalism. God I miss those things.

Trying to push my head back into North Carolina so I can finish up the workday and head home. For just a couple more months...

Hello! I am Sock Buddy! I can make cupcakes!!

That is the line halfway through the children's book "Sock Monkey Boogie Woogie - A Friend is Made" that made me shell out $5 and become a believer in all things Sock Monkey.

Adorably drawn by CeCe Bell, the main character, Sock Monkey, described as "A Famous TV star" has been invited to the "Big Celebrity Dance". However, all of his housemates and good friends, Blue Pig, Froggie and Miss Bunn have made other plans and must be out of town. Sock Monkey, in a desperate search for a dance partner, posts signs and auditions all kinds of toys for the job. Alas, no one meets his expectations. So, he winds up creating a new friend for the dance. This is when Sock Buddy emerges with his immortal line "Hello! I am Sock Buddy! I can make cupcakes!" I don't believe anybody had asked him if he knew how to bake.

However, Sock Monkey, must get his new friend back on task. He immediately asks him the practical question "But can you dance?" To which Sock Buddy replies "I can try".

Bell fills the next few pages with images of the two friends as they hula, break-dance, tap dance and perform Russian dances, (all in the proper costumes, of course). Luckily, Sock Buddy proves to be a natural and says to Sock Monkey, "Let's Boogie".

Wearing their Travolta-esque white suits and singing "Yes, we have no bananas" the two travel to the Big Celebrity Dance and take to the floor. The triumphant evening ends with a conga line of Sock Monkey, Sock Buddy, A helicopter, crayon, bear, elephant, space alien and wind-up mouse boogieing to the tune "Hot Hot Hot".

The next day Sock Buddy fears he will be left out in the cold when Sock Monkey's friends (Blue Pig, Froggy and Miss Bunn)return. He greets them with the line "Hello, I am Sock Buddy! Do you like cupcakes?" to which the friends readily agree and eat the baked goods. They decide they like Sock Buddy and keep him as their friend in their house.

And they all lived happily ever after.