Woman on Top with the Metropole

This has to be the best song he has yet to record. God I wish I was as confident as the woman he's singing about. Hell of a song.

Reno Rodeo

This was one of my favorite parts from last night's rodeo. The free running of the mares and their baby colts. Such beautiful horses at the Reno Rodeo.

I don't consider myself a cowgirl (although for some reason, several people called me that, last summer, while I was in Angel Fire, NM) and don't know much about animals but I surely can appreciate the beauty of horses. And cattle. Love animals.

I didn't really understand most of what happened during the rodeo. Men took painful-looking rides on bucking broncos. I asked my friends if these men were ever able to reproduce. Surely their manly parts get knocked around and injured during the barely 8 second rides on top of those 4-legged beasts. You'd be surprised how long 8-seconds seems. That is the length required to stay on top of a bull, in order to have a qualifying ride. I'm not sure how long a cowboy has to stay on top of a bucking bronco in order to get points. There were several types of competitions. Roping calves, for instance. The cowboy rode up with a lasso and pulled down a running calf. Then, somehow, his horse walked backwards with the rope while the cowboy wrestled the calf to the ground and tied up his legs. Everything was timed to the second. 14 seconds was way too long. I think 7 or 8 seconds was the winning time.

And, there is a LOT of banter during the rodeo, to keep the crowd pumped up. A man on a platform and another man on horseback have a running commentary throughout the entire show. They discuss competitors stats and tell a lot of bad jokes. A jingoistic Patriotic theme runs throughout the proceedings. I sure get sick of hearing how great America is. I mean - aren't other countries great, too? Why do we keep having to remind ourselves our country is great? I think it is because people's faith in this nation is wavering due to corporate control. Or, maybe it is due to the fears about this economy - or perhaps just general prejudice. One man is employed as the "rodeo clown". He seems to have a tough job of not only making people laugh, but always being at the ready to rescue a cowboy should a wayward horse or bull cross his path. Plus, this clown was also a stunt motorcycle rider who jumped over a horse trailer and pick-up truck during intermission.

My favorite event of the rodeo was the one where several women rode gorgeous steeds at breakneck speed and then had them serpentine around barrels. The horses were majestic and I was thrilled that women took part in the contest. The winner was the oldest competitor and the commentators said she was a grandma. I bet she is one heck of a classy dame.

The grandstands were packed last night, in the 95 degree heat. Thanks to Michelle, we were in the shady grandstand. Saw a lot of cowboys and cowgirls walking by. Lots of blonde hair and short-shorts and cowboy boots on the girls. The boys wore mostly t-shirts and jeans and of course, cowboy hats.

I really felt like I had landed in an alternative universe last night. I'm glad I got to go and see what all the fuss was about.

Hypnotism

Just finished the latest Richard Bach book, 'Hypnotizing Maria'. In the book, Bach discusses how we all hypnotize ourselves each and every day, by accepting a long series of suggestions about who we are and what are life is about. He postulates that we are constantly in the process of creating our own lives through a series of agreements. It is a simple little book, not more than 150 pages long. The story begins with a man volunteering to be a subject for an on-stage hypnotist, who successfully convinces the man that he is trapped behind a series of granite walls and cannot get out. Once the hypnotist snaps his fingers, the man realizes that he is on an empty stage and that the rocks and barriers were only in his mind. Bach says that all of us do this in order to create our existence. Through the course of the book, the man, a pilot - like all of Bach's protagonists - has a mystical encounter with a woman hitchhiker, who solidifies his theory. He has a series of epiphanies that take him further to his conclusion that we are all spirits, choosing to have a physical experience of life. Our lives are made up of the choices we make and the suggestions we accept and reject.

He discusses the law of attraction, at length. Our thoughts attract our experiences. There are no coincidences. We are what and whom we decide we are. Each life is made up from an infinite amount of possible choices. None of this is new material. It is Bach's latest take on ancient wisdom and ground he's covered, somewhat, in his earlier books like "Illusions" and "One". While I can sometimes be irritated by his writing style, his messages have always spoken to me. Perhaps 'Hypnotizing Maria' is just the book I needed to read today, to assist me on my journey.

If I am creating this life through the choices I make, than I have certainly created an interesting life. It has been filled with music, laughter and mayhem as well as boredom and sadness. I am visualizing a better life now. One filled with even more laughter and music and this time, I am bringing romantic love into my field of vision. I have had a vision for a long time now of a man, working in his music studio downstairs into the evening. He has to get his project completed. I clearly see myself preparing a grilled cheese sandwich for him and carrying it down to him on a plate. He looks up from his control board and computer and gives me a loving smile. He takes me into his arms and kisses me tenderly.

I like self-hypnosis.

You Can't Get Rid of Match.com!!!

I have been trying to get off of this service forever. Steve even cancelled it. But, I received an email from a man and I sent a reply saying I was not interested. Apparently, this was enough to sign me up for the service again!! I can't afford it, I don't like it and I want it gone. I guess I should cancel my email account where the Match.com notices are sent. This is a giant pain. Yes, I want a man in my life. But no, I don't want to go through the computer selection process and deal with all of the fake scammers. Such a pain in the ass.

You know, I bet Match.com employs people to send out "winks" and emails to recently cancelled members, in order to con them into a renewed membership.

Who Am I Anyway?

Am I my resume?

Those words are the first line of a song from the musical, "A Chorus Line".

They are also the reason for my malaise and doubt yesterday, as I tried to rework my resume to find a job in Reno. In yesterday's blog, I thought of myself in terms of the jobs I have held and the reasons I left them. I felt like a failure, having held so many positions in the past decade. So much emotion is tied up in the way we make money.

There's nothing like searching for a job to depress the hell out of you.

But, my resume does not tell the whole story. It doesn't mention my love of animals, and except for the fact that I made my living in the radio business, it totally ignores my passion for music. You can't tell that I am a kind person by my past jobs. A sequential listing of careers and places I've worked is just a way to market myself as a desired commodity or stereotype that will attract the attention of a potential employer. I have been advised to downplay those aspects of my personality that will show me as being too quirky and too much of an individual.

I was in my monkey mind yesterday. The endless swirl of thoughts and doubts and anxiety that make me crazy. Some days, it is so hard to find peace - peace of mind, especially. Even when I'm in a calm space - in the sunshine, surrounded by mountains and trees and flowers, I can be blind to my surroundings, only living inside my head.

I wish I could be totally dispassionate about this process. And have a positive outlook about my future.