Heart of the Matter

Well, so much for feeling young.

I need open heart surgery to replace a damaged aortic valve that I've had since birth. It has gotten progressively worse these past few years. Aortic stenosis and aortic insufficiency is what the problem is called.

It had been my fear for most of my life that my chest would be cracked and cranked open so the doctors could perform this operation. It just sounds so PAINFUL. Well, as luck would have it, my avoidance of doctors has finally paid off. There is now a non-invasive procedure for this, which means the operation is done microscopically through an incision in my side. No chest-cranking required. Hooray for procrastination.

I've felt like hammered shit for a few years now. Always tired and very low energy. I've been walking less and less since I can't go more than a block without shortness of breath, dizziness and heaviness in my chest. Why didn't I go to a doctor sooner? Well, I kept conveniently forgetting I had this heart condition, since the doctors always said "it looks fine - come back in 5 years" when I had a check-up. Well, 10 or 12 years has passed since that last report.

I kept blaming myself. Kept saying I was just lazy and that I didn't have any energy because I was just not exercising. Kept thinking I was depressed and that the anti-depressants weren't working.

So much self-loathing. So much wasted time! I can't imagine what it will feel like to have energy and to not be tired all the time.

I meet with the surgeon on Valentines Day, appropriately enough. More tests will happen before the operation.

Now. How am I going to pay for all of this?

Polling Practice

I feel young!

Yesterday I attended the county's training class for election day poll workers. It was held in the shiny new home for the board of elections on the second floor of an office park building. Nearly the entire floor is an enormous open room lined in glass windows, so anyone can look in and see that there is no mischief going on when votes are counted. We were shuffled off to a conference room in back. There were about 25 people in attendance...and 3 of us were under the age of 50. A couple more were under the age of 60. The majority of the room appeared to be between 70 years old and death. Lots of sweat suits in bright colors with floral appliqués on them.

Anyway, I sat near the back of the room, next to 70-someting Mrs Chow who slept for nearly the entire 4 hour class. (I think she's done this before) We were instructed by two seasoned election officials, Doug and Dave. Doug was very flamboyant and silly and Dave was more serious. The first thing out of their mouths, the BIG rule: ON ELECTION DAY, EVERYONE IS NEUTRAL. NO POLITICAL COMMENTS. OK...got it.

The (very long) 4 hour class instructed us on the operations of elections - the poll books, the types of ballots used (in Washington state, you get your choice of paper ballot (to be fed into an Accu-Vote machine) or electronic computer voting (and there IS a paper trail of the votes - but I don't know how they'd compare it to the actual vote...it might just verify what the machine registered). We learned how to set up the polling place during the day and the proper way to hang the American flag. We also watched a film about dealing with people with disabilities. Very informative and not at all "giggle inducing", as I had secretly hoped.

Everybody in the room appeared very serious about having safe and fair elections. A couple of the old coots even used the phrase "voter disenfranchisement". It seems I wasn't the only voters' rights advocate in attendance! We were shown how to safely and securely transport the ballots at the end of the day and even got to practice on the special locked bags with their red security tags. Even Mrs. Chow woke up for this part.

At least from the polling place side of things, the votes will be secure.

But, I still have a sinking feeling in my stomach. No matter how secure the voting is, they are still counted by the "Black Box" machines. (known as Accu-Vote - made by the Diebold company who has recently changed its name to Premier Voting Systems due to bad press, I guess) We were shown how the memory chips in the machines were sealed and protected and could only be removed at a central location to be counted. But, I still wonder who programmed the chips in the first place?

I don't think being a polling place worker will ease my fears about hacked elections. Perhaps I should just not stress over it and take a nap, like Mrs. Chow.

ManBearPig

ManBearPig - I'm CEREAL!

These are the words I woke up thinking this morning at 3:50. I wonder why? In the cartoon South Park, a fictitious Al Gore is trying to warn the town of a hideous creature called ManBearPig (1/2 man, 1/2 bear and 1/2 pig) that is a tremendous danger to the community. Only problem is, ManBearPig appears to be more a figment of Al Gore's imagination, as there is no proof that it actually exists. It's supposed to be a metaphor for the global warming problems Gore has brought to the forefront of our society's consciousness and a not-so-subtle criticism of it by the disbelievers who create South Park.

It is now election season. And, as in the past, electronic voting machines are being used to tally the votes. In the New Hampshire primary, something like 80% of all electronic votes were counted by the software of ONE firm. The software is flawed and hasn't been updated, according to reports by Black Box Voting, an electronic voting watchdog group. Days before the primary, I told friends and co-workers that, despite Obama's lead in the polls, Hillary Clinton would win New Hampshire because she had been selected ahead of time by the "powers that be" - be they the 'Bilderberg Group' or the 'Bohemian Grove' crowd or some other 'New World Order' alliance. I was proven correct as her victory defied the lead Obama had going into the voting.

Yet, I still feel like I'm crying "ManBearPig" to the disbelievers. C'mon, I'm CEREAL!

To find out how these elections actually work, this year I'll be employed as a poll worker in the Washington State Primary in February. I'll be taking the ID photos and having voters sign in. I don't know if I'll learn anything about the process I hadn't known before but at least I'll see what things are like on the inside. And maybe find out how the machines work, if I'm lucky.

Really! I'm Cereal!! ManBearPig exists and is a danger to us all!!