374 Miles Later

I played hookey from grad school today. I got up early, washed my hair and got dressed, got in my car and drove to Portland, OR. For no reason. In fact, I didn't do anything when I got there. I tooled around and wound up in Beaverton. Didn't even stop for lunch. I just filled up the gas tank (well, had the gas station attendant fill it up - you aren't allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon...quaint), turned around and drove back to Seattle.

And I feel better. Something about the rhythm of the tires on the road and the changing scenery out front changes your perspective. I hope it lasts.

Apu for me

Why do I think that men from India are the handsomest on earth?

Maybe it is the skin color...brown, golden brown, tan, beige or mocha. Maybe it is their soulful dark eyes framed with long lashes. Perhaps their thick black wavy hair. I could look at them all day.

Changing Moods

I am such a moody bitch. Really. One day I'm scared out of my mind and want to die and the next, I think everything is going to be allright if I only stay on the path I'm on.

Today is one of those "everything is going to be OK" days. I didn't wake up this way, however. Tuesdays, I have a seminar class where we're all supposed to participate and say intelligent things. Each week, I'm terrified that I won't know what in the heck is being discussed and I'll fall flat on my face. But this week and last, I did OK! I said stuff that (I think) sounded smart! Or else, I'm not comparing my comments to those of my classmates and feeling bad because I'm not as brilliant as they are. And they are really, really brilliant people. I'm proud to be in the same room with them.

I think I'll sit here and just enjoy this feeling of calm. And not think of the 15 page paper that is due in 3 weeks...and the presentation...and wonder what grade I got on my mid-terms...and try to figure out the best strategy for picking my classes for next quarter...oh shit...

I'm such a moody bitch.