My Voice is Gone

With everything else going on, it never occurred to me I might lose my singing voice due to all of my surgeries. But, it sounds like crap. I am singing like a frog.

Went online and read comments from other patients who had the same surgeries. No one lost their voice, permanently, although several people said that they have lost much of their higher register. Some said their voices didn't return until 8 or 12 months after surgery. On the plus side, one lady said her voice got richer with a more complex vibrato, when it finally came back.

You may imagine how scary this is, for me. Especially with my singer/songwriter twin sister vocalizing around the house all the time. Since childhood, we have easily harmonized with each other. And I usually took the lead singer role. Last night was hard. She was singing up a storm, in a 3-octave range. It was my natural inclination to chime in - but was hurt and horrified by what came out of my mouth.

Patience - that's what all of the online forums said. Give yourself time. Practice breathing exercises. Don't overdo. Don't equate self-worth with how my voice sounds.

My voice has always been an important part of my life, I took it for granted and it was how I made my living - not just as a professional vocalist, but as a radio broadcaster, telephone operator, call-center voice and receptionist. And this doesn't include all of the voiceover and commercial cash I made on the side.

I am alive. I don't have cancer. My heart works. I am healing. I will get my voice back. But, I think this is the scariest thing of all.