It's Going to be a LONG Month

While I was able to get a job following graduation, It is with the University - run by the State of North Carolina.

This means that I only get paid once a month and the pay period runs from the 11th of the month until the 10th of the next month. The checks are distributed on the last day of the month. So, I won't get my first non-student paycheck until June 30th. Since I started work on the 23rd of May, my check will only be for a partial month. I won't be able to pay off all of my monthly expenses. I'll be left with a deficit. I currently have $72 in my bank account left over from last month, when I took out a $1,200 loan from my credit card to cover bills.

My first decent (in relative terms) paycheck won't arrive until July 30th. This leaves me with a grand total of $ 72 for the next six weeks for groceries, gas, medicine, cat food (!), and anything else that pops up. I can forget about movies, going out for dinner and getting my car tuned-up and having the brakes checked (yikes!).

I am re-thinking the decision I made a few weeks ago to buy a new pair of shoes, using the $200 graduation gift from my mom. At the time, I treated it like "found money" and bought myself something I not only needed, but wanted. These shoes are made in Germany and not only look nice enough for the office but are comfortable and supportive enough for my walk to and from work each day.

I know this period of absolute angst over money will end but this will be the 3rd summer in a row that I have had a very rocky July! I just want it to stop.

Being broke has kept me isolated. I don't have the resources to check out local music or indy film happenings at the local coffe shop/nightspot. I can't just "hang out" in a coffee shop (or bar...not that I would) and try to strike up a conversation with somebody. I can't drive to a town 50 miles away and visit with my best friend. It is hard and if you've been there, you know.
I CAN go to the library, limit myself to $15 a week for groceries at the farmer's market and try to enjoy cooking. There's always TV to watch but it keeps me inside my apartment - not a bad thing when the temperature rises above 90 degrees. I also love spending time with my cats, Saturn (who I profiled in a previous blog) and Panda, an adorable black-and-white-kitty with white fur over one eye, black fur over the other and a black nose. He is a master at Cat Dancer, a great goalie and his antics make me laugh.

I'm not destitute, just frustrated. If this is a learning experience to help me grow, it can stop now! I'm big enough, thank you very much!