Honkytonkin' Woman

Somewhere between Dayton, OH and Cincinnati I decided that I wanted to see if I could sing in Nashville on "Music Row" (I think that is what they call that street, named Broadway, with all of the clubs, etc.) I figured, "I'm 50 years old and a good singer and damn it! After this past year and all of the crap I've been through, I at least have to try!" I was planning on singing karaoke someplace just to say I'd done it.

So, I fortified myself with a bowl of Skyline Chili (not as good as I remembered - kinda runny), and headed South. Finally traveled through Kentucky - the only contiguous state out of the 48 I had not visited - and saw the sign for Big Bone Lick State Park. BIG BONE LICK State Park. Wow. The things I have missed in my life! Passed through the Great Smokey Mountains in Tennessee and turned right in Knoxville. A few hours later, I was in a Motel 6 outside of Music City. The next day. after getting lost a couple of times (seriously - when you work at a Waffle House with lots of tourist traffic, you'd think you might be required to know where the local hot spots are!) I found Broadway in Nashville and a parking space just  a few blocks away.

Not sure where to go, I started window shopping. Lots of cowboy boots for sale but not a single pair as cool as the lapis-lazuli-colored ones I wear. I was amazed at how expensive cowboy hats were. None of them looked quite right on my big ol' head so I moved on. I just had to stop into a used record store that featured the most classic of Country and Western artists and I had to buy a little book of sheet music featuring Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton - if only for the cover photo alone. Porter was famous for wearing garish suits and Dolly was dressed in what looked like fancy lingerie. Then I stepped into a little shop to try on a blouse. Coming out of the dressing room, I spied a straw cowboy hat with a lapis-lazuli band that matched my boots. It was sitting on a high shelf in the back. Low and behold, it perfectly fit my head AND it was on sale for 75% off! I didn't hesitate a second before I bought it and put it on. Now, I was ready to make my Nashville debut!

It was late on a Saturday afternoon but the strip was starting to come alive. The downtown arena was hosting a big hockey game in a couple of  hours and several tour groups were roaming around. Some places hired guys to lure passers by into their restaurants. Just ahead the blinking light stuttered "KAROKE!!" and I walked that way. But, just before I got there, I heard live music pouring out from the door of a club called Crossroads. I glanced in and saw a band (with a cute lead singer) and they sure seemed to be having fun on stage, so I took a seat on a bar stool to have a listen. The singer's name was Jason Link and man oh man could he sing! He could really play the guitar, too, and the band backing him was KICK ASS! In between songs, there was a lot of banter and foolishness. They were telling a lot of politically incorrect jokes. The band picked on the customers, in a good-natured way. But, I think they were kind of bitter at their big break on Music Row. At the most, only about 25 people were in the club at one time. Folks kept coming and going on their way to check out other hot spots on the strip. But, I stayed - for 3 hours. They really held my interest. I noticed that there was a man at the bar who kept buying them drinks. Turns out he was their manager. I realized after about an hour and a half that the band NEVER took a break. In order for the drummer to use the men's room, Jason had to sit behind the trapset and keep the beat for a few minutes! Every now and then, he would walk through the crowd with a tip jar and CDs for sale. Due to the glut of willing musicians in Nashville, the clubs don't pay them! They are allowed to play for tips. I hope the band didn't have to pay for the "privilege" to be at Crossroads, but I don't know.

Anyhow, after about 2 hours, Jason and his Keyboard player, Tim, pointed to me and said "lady in the red shirt, you'll buy 2 of our CDs for $20, won't you?" I turned around. "You - sitting at the bar - I'm talking to YOU!" I only had a dollar on me but I did have a checkbook. And, remembering the main purpose of my Nashville visit, I shouted "I will, if you let me sing with you!!" They did NOT expect that, but half-heartedly said OK. And then, I said "Will you take a check?" - Reluctantly, they agreed. I wrote out the check and handed it to their manager (and he asked me if it was a good check). After another song, Jason hollered for me to get up on stage. And so I did. Not sure what I could sing until I stood behind the microphone, I turned to the piano player and said "Since I Fell For You in B flat" (That is pretty much the only song I know that I remember the key) the bass player said "It is in G" -" true - the record is in G but I sing it in B Flat", I replied. I told them that I do the prelude to the song "When you just give love, and never get love, you'd better let love depart" etc. And, I think they, and the audience, were pretty blown away when I opened my mouth to sing.

I was a bit raspy, but overall,  having a VERY GOOD voice day. And, the magical muse took over once I started. Tim, Jason and the bass player and drummer played a "bump and grind" version of the song. And I hammed it up like nobody's business. The crowd was cheering. I was having the time of my life, singing with the best musicians I had ever sung next to. Jason and I stood back-to-back during the line "Oh you love me, then you snub me". At the word "snub", I reached over and pushed him away. Their manager came out from behind the bar and stood in the middle of the dance floor with his mouth agape! This was the most fun I have had in years - my only chance to sing on Music Row and I enjoyed the heck out of it. Of course, the song ended way too soon. But those 20 or 25 people in the crowd were applauding like crazy. A couple of guys shouted "let me buy you a drink!!" (and gave the bartender some cash to pay for it)  One of them (a good 15 years younger than me) came over to me and said "Why aren't you and I making love right now? (!!) We didn't but it was fun to be asked.

I watched Jason Link and his band for another 45 minutes or so. During that time, I overheard the manager ask him and the piano player what they thought of me. The piano player told him that "she's just a cougar and this is how she meets men." Ha! I wasn't insulted. I think I was so good that I scared them a little. I'll never know for sure but what I do know is that I made a memory that will always make me smile. I moved on and waved goodbye to the band, grinning like a fool as I walked out that door.