Traffic Still Sucks

Seattle traffic is so awful.

Major roadways surrounding 2 lakes and no good East-West routes in an entire Metropolitan area.

While there are more resources, traffic reports and reporters than when I first started in the business, the act and art of doing the job has become unbelievably complicated. No longer do you listen for your cue on a tuner, click a switch and just talk into a microphone when you are announced, like in olden days.

Now, the tuners hardly work at all in the studio. For live reports, the traffic reporter has to dial up listen-lines on a separate phone and have no processing in their headphones when listening to themselves speak. More often than not, the report is taped. But usually not by turning on a microphone and taping down the line to a board operator at the radio station. There are 3 separate mechanisms for taping a report. One, on a keypad connected to the station, where you have to punch in a touch tone before and after the report. Another, on a black box with a red and green button that have to be pushed at the start and stop of the report and finally, the third, where a computer program is clicked at the beginning and end. Then that report is sent down the line.

And, oh yes - these reports are supposed to be timed - anywhere from 15 seconds to a minute. Not only are you watching the start-and-stop mechanisms, but you are keeping an eye on the stopwatch. And they are complicated to use, too!

And how does the company pay for traffic reporters? Why, with advertising, of course. While the spots are available to read in books located somewhere in the various studios (and good luck finding them sometimes), it is mostly expected that the reporter will read the commercial off of their computer screen in an "online affidavit" system. Each radio station a reporter does, has their own online affidavit - so, you can have 3 or 4 pages on your system, to read.

And WAIT! We haven't even begun to discuss the PRODUCT - The actual traffic report, itself!!!

I am an audio person who is best served by repeating information transmitted through my ears. However, now, the main system for getting the current accidents and slowdowns to the on-air folks is by another computer system. A visual screen to read the information, which must then be translated for folks like me, into audio information.

Worrying about the actual traffic problems is the absolute LAST thing on one's mind when working in this cluster fuck. There IS audio input - and that comes from police scanners, which on a Friday afternoon are blaring and buzzing with an alarming frequency. "Seattle Zone One - Northbound 5 45th, 2 car lane two blocked"...."Seattle Zone 2 - southbound 167 212th, multi-car collision blocking HOV"...over and over, ad nauseum. While multi-tasking, and trying to keep up with all the technical info, my ears are pealed to the scanner and the 2-way communication system between the base and the airborne traffic reporters, who are continually updating information

Today, I lasted 2 hours at the job - went to fill-in on what used to be an easy shift! Imagine my surprise when I found out that they had added an additional station, and that the feed times had to be timed out exactly. Trying to report on 3 different stations, using 3 different input methods, while monitoring the crazy-ass right wing station, where my live reports aired did me in.

I had a total and complete nervous breakdown. I threw off my headphones and ran screaming to the ladies room, where I hyperventilated for at least 10 minutes, finally breathing into my skirt to stop the heaving. After that, I cried non-stop for a long time - long wailing screaming crying. And then, I shook. Thankfully, I work with some of the kindest people on the planet. A wonderful woman stayed with me and gave me a glass of water and kept talking to me to calm me down. Another sweet soul held me for a few minutes while I sobbed uncontrollably. She managed to get my shift covered by some means or another, so I could take all the time I needed to pull myself together.

What was this emotional crisis worth to me?

I was going to have earned an extra $62.24, because I got fired from my other job and I haven't seen any unemployment yet in my bank account.

$62.24

BEFORE taxes.