A Lifetime in a Week.

OK - lets start with last Saturday, when I finally had enough cash to buy a car I found on Craig's List. A blue 14-year-old Honda Civic with 119k miles that runs great. 5-speed manual transmission and it is sooooo much fun to drive! Gonna have a problem keeping myself off of the freeway, lemme tell ya! I named my car, Bernard.

I gave in, acquiesced to the state laws and got a PA driver's license. I had been holding on to my WA state license, out of homesickness and principle, plus, I like being in denial about residing in this state again. However, taxes, license and plates cost me more money than I had, so I borrowed a bit from a friend. But, the FREEDOM I FEEL IS PRICELESS!!!! 15 months without a car has been one of the most difficult things I have gone through. Having to depend upon the generosity of family and friends. Having to call and beg for a ride. Always having to say "you drive, OK?" sure makes a 51-year-old woman feel like a teenager. Or a pre-teenager.

I had a day-long joyride that ended at the big casino/racetrack facility. A band was setting up on stage and the very seasoned-looking black gentlemen surrounding the instruments were a good sign that the music would be top notch. So, I hung around and nostalgically watched them set up and do a sound check. Wow. Great voices! I kept my spot close to the stage and talked to the DJ while the band changed into their performing clothes. The DJ, named "Jazz", and I , had lots of fun talking about being singers "back in the day". The band took the stage, in matching suits and ties - and I knew I was in for a night of Temps and Tops tunes. Damn, they were great! Named "Vinyl Groov" - I looked at them and thought - "now that is a hell of a way to retire! Do a couple of shows a month at high profile places and you're set!"

When I returned from my fantastic Bernard-the-car-filled day, There was a rude, demanding note on the home fridge, insisting that I do much of the housework for the home I WAS living in, as well as paying monthly rent. Mind you, I live in a tiny bedroom, use the kitchen (and not much, at that) and the bathroom. The rest of the noisy family messes up their house however they want, and the kitchen and bathroom are always the worst of the place. I was told I needed to vacuum, and do THEIR laundry, as well as wipe off kitchen counters, etc. Now that wouldn't be a problem if they ever put anything away in the kitchen. But they don't. Hardly ever. I have never seen a kitchen this bad in my life. I kept it as clean as I could, before I had a job and began paying them rent, but the fact that they wanted me to do their work (that laundry line really pissed me off - throwing sperm-filled teenage underpants into the washer, for god's sake!) was the last straw. So, I wrote a note saying this situation was no longer working for us, and asked mother to move back in with her.

Spent all of Sunday packing and moving, and most of Monday recovering, while at work. All the while, knowing that I had just bounced a check to the DMV for my driver's license and praying my credit card would keep me fed for the time being. Then there was election day and the aftermath. So much stress on the backs of the entire nation! On Wednesday, I applied for two other internal job openings, with a higher rate of pay. On Thursday, I started the day in the emergency room, after coughing up blood and dealing with an acidic esophagus. Blood tests came back normal but I might have a bleeding ulcer. I went to work and found out I got "promoted" to a different assignment, something I LIKE at work! (but no pay increase). On Friday, I found out how little I was trained and got very angry at my boss for not teaching me things I should know. I made her cry. I wrote an email to her boss and explained things from my perspective. HER BOSS AGREED WITH ME!!!!! This time, I did NOT get fired for writing a note about mistreatment at work!!! So much better than stupid-ass Clear Channel!!! I went into the ladies room and cried my eyes out - due to post-traumatic stress. Could not believe I was NOT fired for stating my truth this time. Incredulous.

Now today, Saturday, I went to work for 3 hours, overtime. I was so hungry when I finished, I stopped for a slice of pizza and a Coke. My credit card was rejected and I couldn't get my lunch. Went to the ladies room and sobbed. When I came out, a man, sitting in front, told me he had paid for my lunch. I thanked him, felt like a piece of dirt, and cried while I ate. After that, I had my friend, Steve, help me move the rest of my things over from my friend's house over to mother's. Then we went to see an apartment building in the country (not far from Hershey), that his brother owns. The place might  be do-able for me - townhouse for under $600 a month. Not a sexy neighborhood. BUT - unloading his van and moving in, was a guy, named Ron, and it turns out he is a singer and adjunct English professor and we had a LOT to talk about. He's lived all over the country. His musical taste is a bit more punk and hardcore than mine but it was sooooo nice talking to somebody who comes at life from a similar perspective as I do! He is also pissed off being back in Central Pennsylvania and had a hell of a time growing up here, but is making the best of it right now. I might have a non-Christian-not-living-in-fear friend, with whom. I can discuss music!!! A music pal in the same building. Unthinkable! (Plus, he's kinda cute - but maybe 15 years younger than me).

So, I found HOPE FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE this week, in the midst of chaos and confusion and frustration. A happy ending.