I Am Overwhelmed!

I know I am supposed to feel happy and grateful that I survived my difficult ordeal but right now I just feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork I must complete in order to put off my student loans for another year - due to financial hardship, try to get charity assistance for the rest of my medical bills - this time for the anesthesiologist and finally, to see if I can get out of jury duty for the Federal Court - since I am not physically strong enough to withstand 8 hour days etc.

I am patiently waiting for 8 more days until my $122 worth of food stamps get put on my EBT card for this month. Eating the last of my groceries. I am happy that I made it into the "Section 8" lottery of 4000 available slots for housing payments but unhappy that my position is number 2019. I am scared that my part-time job with a better salary but no benefits might work against me with Washington State's Basic Health.

I am switching cardiologists because the one I have cancels his appointments and doesn't return phone calls.

I am also a little overwhelmed by my new duties at my job - I like it but it just seems like too much to think about with all of the other crap going on.

I am supposed to be happy I lived but today I think it might have just been a whole lot easier had I died.