I hope I can get through this

I have never been in this much financial trouble before. I've spent my entire adulthood building and maintaining a stellar credit record. Bills were always paid on time. For eleven years, I owned my own home. I made my car payments. Then I went to college to change my life. Well, it sure changed.

Somehow, in my 5 1/2 year odyssy of obtaining my bachelor's degree, I STILL paid all of my bills on time. I only bought $35 a week in groceries. I didn't have a social life unless it was free - and with the exception of a rare movie matinee or a cup of iced coffee (NOT espresso), I did not participate in the local economy. i held 3 on-campus jobs and I did everything the financial experts told me to do and more but I still came up short. In those desperate months, I would be forced to use a zero-percent or low interest check from my credit cards to make my bills. Oh yes, I knew it was a slippery slope but at 0 or 3% interest, I thought it might be a risk I could take. Plus, I had the best credit report money could buy.

Then I moved to Seattle. And then I couldn't find work for a couple of months. And then I got sick for another month. And then I found only a part-time job. Finally I found another part-time job to suppliment my income. But I couldn't meet all of my financial obligations. And then the credit card companies, after 19 years of loyalty, raised my intrest rate to 29 or 32 percent!!!!!!!!!! Now, there's no way I can afford even the minimum monthly payments. I've called the companies but after hours of being transferred to supervisors and re-stating my case and then being transferred again to a line that only disconnects my call, I realize the system is designed to abuse it's customers and keep us in a cycle of debt.

So, I'm meeting with a credit counselor on Friday. They'll cut up my credit cards (because, obviously, someone with my crappy new credit rating can't handle a credit card!)I pray this will work and I'm terrified that my credit rating will be so low that I won't be able to get the student loans I need to attend graduate school. I'm worried. Really, really worried. And I'm really, really scared.