From Her Point of View

I realized my post, "A Year's Chronicle" would make me sound selfish. But I never intended to hurt my sister's feelings. All of the things I wrote felt like just an impassionate laundry list to me. But to her, it felt like I was blaming her. That was never my intent. It is true that what we do affects those around us. Especially if those around us are also living with us. But when I just listed the events from my limited perspective I didn't take her motivations into effect. I know she only has the best of intentions and loves me very much. And I am so sorry I hurt her.

But, I think I'm coming apart at the seams. I feel like my head exists in a little box and if that box gets jostled just a tiny bit, the contents of my head get scrambled and some of it falls out. I feel like I've been trying as hard as I can, just to run in place. But I am not staying in one place. I'm falling behind. And each small change in life lessens my sanity. I need to catch up and catch my breath. And find a little stability that I can latch onto.

But, I'm afraid I've used up all of my chances.