Again with the Writer's Block - Small Town Activities

I believe it was Bukowski who said the secret to great writing was to wait until you are inspired - even if it takes years. Well, at this rate, I might not blog for years. Again, please forgive my lack of inspiration.

Last weekend, I was able to volunteer at the Taos Shortz Film Festival. While I wasn't able to attend the pre-festival meeting, I was able to work at the will call desk, box office and usher positions with little difficulty. I met a few new people and was able to see several little movies, all under 30-minutes. One was only 10 seconds long. The films came from around the globe, one of the best, from Japan, an action movie about a company that erases memories for a fee. Wish I could remember the name - mostly because whatever song played during the closing credits had the coolest bass line. Another amazing prize-winning film was from France or Belgium, about a little ballerina, who charms a trio of thugs when she gets the wrong address for an audition to play Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. After my third day of volunteering, I felt empowered and was surprised at how many familiar faces I saw. 

On Thursday, after doing the shopping for my landlady, I headed to the radio station / bar and concert venue to volunteer for the animal shelter's radiothon. Listening in, I was absolutely stunned that everybody who called in to donate had to give out their first and last name and PHONE NUMBER over the air!!!! That can't be very safe. There was another phone number to call if you did not want to be on-air, but I only learned about it later in the afternoon. While I was listening, I never heard them give it out over the airwaves. I was placed at the front desk with 2 other ladies. It was our job to take walk-in donations, sell raffle tickets and collect money and distribute pledge premiums to folks making good on their previous on-air pledges. It was a very stressful afternoon, for me. I could not multi-task at all, and the conversations of the other ladies and their friends nearly blew out my head. There was way too much going on and I was unable to concentrate. I felt like I did that day when I worked at the real estate office and wound up in the fetal position on the floor. When I was younger, I used to love front desk jobs and was very good at being the epicenter for the office buzz. Not any more. Not since the mid-90's. I just can't do this kind of work anymore. I gotta find some kind of skill where I can concentrate on a task. 

Anyhow, I was so stressed out from volunteering, Afterwards I had to go out and get a drink. Deep breathing wasn't helping. The drink helped a little, but then I needed to stay home and decompress for an entire day afterwards. I wonder what is wrong with me? I seem to feel everybody's emotions all at once these days. I can't filter them out. 

In fact, earlier in the day, I stopped for gas. While waiting for a free pump, I felt myself get more and more anxious. I couldn't figure this out. I mean, I only had to wait about 3 minutes for one to clear. Suddenly, a police man ran in front of the station. I said to myself "this can't be good". And then, another cop streaked past. Then 3 police cars sped by. After they passed, I instantly felt better. I wondered if I was picking up their stress and thought it was coming from me? I need to find a way to filter out this stuff.