Lisa's Tree

Lisa put up the tree today.

It is a small artificial tree, maybe 4 feet high, sitting on a table. She strung lights and put on decorations. It looks pretty. Many of the decorations were mine, at one time. There were a few years that I didn't mind Christmas so much. My friend's grandmother hand crocheted a couple of small wreaths and I had a few wooden toys I bought back in the 80's. Lisa also hung ornaments signifying both of her marriages.

While she was decorating, FM 106.9 was playing holiday music. Every year they switch to an all-Christmas-music-until-you-puke format. That radio station always leads in the ratings during the month of December. I could not force myself up the stairs to see her handiwork until she turned off the music. Once she turned it off, I said "now I can come upstairs". I did not realize until that moment why I had locked myself in my bedroom.

She even hung stockings for both of us above the fireplace. And I bought her a couple of stocking stuffers. Trying to get into the spirit. Trying.

Sometimes I wonder if I manufacture my misery this time of year because it is a state of mind I am used to having. But, when I ponder this further, I realize that I just can't muster joy without just cause. The Biblical story does not fill me with peace or happiness.

If you've read this far, my apologies. On Facebook, I've taken to calling myself The Christmas Curmudgeon. But, looking at Lisa's tree again, I smile at the sparkling lights and can appreciate how it brightens up the living room.

Thanks Lisa - despite my crankiness, I appreciate your efforts.